Day 11 - God Moves

I didn’t end up doing a whole lot of new and interesting things today, but some big things happened anyway.

I left home at about 1 for Capitol Hill. Got Vivace. Sat and read for a while. Went to Urban. Drove home. Read at home. Left again to go see if I could bike the Velodrome; it was open this time. I biked it for about a half hour. It was pretty sweet, took some getting used to though. The first time you ride up those huge banks it for sure feels like you’re gonna fall, the physics do not feel right at all - but sure enough, somehow I’d make it through every time. There were about 15 other people riding with me, but that’s a lot more than it sounds like - all the other people were serious racers practicing, so they were all decked out in full racing gear, riding their $5000 pro track bikes (clipped in of course) at about 30 mph through the inside lane, so I had to be pretty alert at all times. I stuck out like a sore thumb too, as I was the only one with bright green riser handlebars, sporting cutoffs and a t-shirt to boot, but I didn’t mind. I’m at least glad I can say I’ve done it, it was definitely a unique thing. I came home, had dinner, and watched the Cavs lose game 4 to the Magic - a sad affair, but if you were watching that series you had to have seen that one coming. Oh well, it’s still not the one that matters! (not gonna go on another Laker rave, fear not).

Like I said before, it was a pretty relaxed day; what made it stand out was that God actually spoke today. He has been slowly showing me a lot of the own darkness in my heart that I have either tried and failed to deal with in the past, or still feel bound to without even knowing it, despite God’s forgiveness and the Christ’s death on the cross... but today I feel like God really let me feel the weight and reality of that forgiveness again, and it was DEEPLY refreshing and PROFOUNDLY needed. Looking back on the past week or so, I can see now that a lot was building to this... which played a huge part in the deeper feeling or loneliness and darkness I have been feeling as each day has gone by (yep, haven’t really been writing on that much... now you know!). I haven’t intentionally tried to hide that, and I’ve really enjoyed my time so far despite it, but it was taking a toll on my mind, and would occur most commonly at the very end of each day when I was winding down. While I hate the darkness and I hate feeling lonely, I really think I needed to experience the weight of my own sin, to really stare it in the face, in order to grasp a little better the significance of my salvation... pretty big indeed. So, I thank God for what He’s graciously done in my heart, for following through like He promises to do (and always eventually does), and for continuing to bless me in ways I don’t merit AT ALL.

In other news, I’m going to Canada tomorrow! I have no idea what to expect, and am kind of stressing at the moment as I try to make a slight itinerary of some things I’d like to see while I’m there. That’s the last thing I’ve gotta face tonight, then it’s off to bed. Wish me luck in Maple Leaf country, eh? G’night!